Donnerstag, 29. April 2010

Today's personal "worst case" collection

Well I think it still turned out well but in the moment when you already consider that it could have's the worst case

- You really need to go the toilet but are wearing jogging trousers...and then you have a knot in your trousers..and you can't pull down the trousers because of that. Wow that's horrible
- the imagination that your tooth paste dries out. Well I have this worst case imagination every day because lately I always...and yes I mean ALWAYS forget to close the tooth paste and just notice it everytime I go to the toilet again, which is not that often.
- You can understand your own Japanese very well but somehow you can't understand others Japanese because it seems although you have the deep desire to understand it there is something in your brain saying:" No you can't understand it! And others will find your japanese strange anyway no matter what you do! As soon as you put in your roots they won't be able to understand it!"

Irgendwie klinge ich beim Schreiben wie ein Roboter..also wenn ich mit jemanden Deutsch schreibe der aber erst noch die Sprache lernt. Also quasi...ich versuche die Sätze so einfach wie möglich zu schreiben, was es letztendlich emotionslos aussehen lässt. Fällt dem Lernenden natürlich nicht auf, aber einem selbst schon...

Today's experienced Hideki info: I don't know if he's lonely or not, fact is he's not satisfied at all with himself lately.
Today's experienced Ryo info: None but I like him even so XD

*yawns* Bed time

Dienstag, 27. April 2010

If my heart turned bigger or small, I don't really know anymore..but in fact it feels like I cherish smaller things more lately...
Or wait..I don't know if it's a good but it seems like I am able to love what I already love for the last 4-6 years without turning my back. And no it's not just one specific's several stuff. Anyway..I finished 2 Animes the last few days...but it seems that deep inside there was still this child who loved to see Animes. You know I am one of those picky people who can be hardly pleased with new bands, doramas, animes..whatever..but I think that always happens when I am satisfied with that what I love and cherish it so I don't want anything new right now or it is when i desparately search something additional to love which is born to fail.
Anyway smiling is good and I smiled a lot today...oh wait..tonight?
What made me smile..let's see..
- Finishing Junjou Romantica. Yes I know I am late and I am uncool for liking such stuff. Well in the end the comedy aspects were more amusing. My humour is quite simple XD
- Eito polonaise....yuuchuu
- reading that he went to Nakamura's grave. Well honestly I found it sweet..that entry...and the way he is able to switch moods is wonderful. Then I thought, he really must have liked him a lot. Visiting the grave of your former manager...well that fact is actually enough to become sad..because how can there ever be a reunion when an important part of it already died...
- that pic and some related ones..xD That's the way I want this and not different..but then it's not me who decides. What I told Hideki is: "No matter where you go, I think you will find the right path." because I am sure he knows that, even if he's mentally probably childisher than Ryo but..somehow if i had the chance to say a word to Ryo, that's a sentence I couldn't say yet. But maybe someday xD

Samstag, 24. April 2010

Will always stay number 1 of my favourite game openings XD

And now I will restart playing it :DDDD

Today I had an awesome dream with Hideki again..but then it turned out to be a nightmare and it was my fault that Hideki disappeared D:

Donnerstag, 22. April 2010

Car shrimp pfff :(

Sometimes I really hate that my biography didn't turn out perfect so far.
Like I wonder if it was even possible to make it perfect.
I am not disappointed about myself in all points but the fact that my brother already gave me the driver license money when I turned 18
and the fact that I didn't even start it now after almost 4 years is somehow sad.
Like..what makes it sad is the fact that it's probably not as cheap anymore as it was back then. But honestly..even now after 4 years I am still afraid of it. o_O  Well so far the mainreason was always..I don't need it..but now I will need it for sure startig from August..except I prefer wasting time and some more money by taking the train every day. :/
But I am still afraid :(
In order to manage it by august I have to go and join the driving school soon otherwise I will fail XD Although of course the failing is always possible and not time limited. XD

Bah 3am..thats far behind my go to bed time I will rush to my bed quickly...

Dienstag, 20. April 2010

Wow I am back from bavaria

This was indeed a week full of events. Not only the trip but also random things xD
I got finally my aprenticeship +_+ my dream of living at the sea comes true in August *_*
All I am waiting for is the contract..which should be send to me this week.

And then my eito dvd finally arrived today. Wow quick this time <.< Maybe will watch it later XD

I am also forced to do my driver licence finally >_< have to manage it till august..which should work out since I have so much freetime..the only thing which could make it impossible is my stupidness..but my brother said: "Millions of Germans can do it, so why you shouldn't manage it o_o"

My revolving chair is damaged...aaah...and btw yesterday I also killed my monitor again somehow which made me go all aaah >-< ooh..I just killed it again...never try to auto process again aaaah RAGE! XD
Short everyday bavaria report
- started our tour at 9.30am and reached my aunt's place (Soyen) at about 5.45pm
- Didn't do much anymore. My aunt's ex-neighbour from Schwedt/Oder was there too with her husband till well the evening ended with them drinking beer like you do it in Bavaria XDD

- my aunt's boyfriend had to work so we just spent the morning with running around in's just a village but yeah
- in the late afternoon we drove to Prien to eat Spareribs in "Zum Ott"...aah my tummy hurt so much XDD
- after that we went to Hub10..well it sounds like a discoteque..but truth's just the amazing home of my aunt's older friends Monika and Sepp. They have a big house Ö__Ö There we drank bowle...waaah I was so durnk because Monika always refilled our glasses XD

- we went to Munich in the afternoon..nothing impressive somehow XD Went to the Allianz-Arena because my aunt's friends from Schwedt are big soccer and FC Bayern München fans lol

then we went..eeh I think it's Munich's center? o.o


We also went to the Hofbräuhaus to drink beer XD

- my 2 cousins arrived :D
- since the weather was alright we wanted to do the 5-lake tour..but we were only able to visit the Spitzingsee D: because then the other car had a problem somehow ..and we ended up in Miesbach. What a horrible boring town..XD



- my aun't bday party...well it turned out..that I didn't get drunk at all sad xD

- went to the Chiemsee

drove home again..aat the same time we started our journey on tuesday

I made more pics but I am too lazy to upload them all XDDD

and now I am sitting here lol...
don't want to fall back to my old behaviour...wasting my day o.ô

Montag, 12. April 2010

That Ryo bot on twitter is such an idiot XD he writes totally offkey replies most of the time..the maru bot did better xDDD

D0CI @derekido_ryo おっす! 昨日、お前は何をしたの? またクラブに行った?
derekido_ryo @D0CI いややあー(照)
D0CI @derekido_ryo 料理してくれるの? なんかお腹が空いたから、、
derekido_ryo @D0CI もしもし。錦戸ですけど?(笑)
D0CI @derekido_ryo ええ? あらぁ、アホウか?
derekido_ryo @D0CI 今日は帰りたくないなあー。
D0CI @derekido_ryo なんでそれ?亮ちゃんはどこに帰りたくないの? 大阪か東京だ?
and then he didn't answer me anymore D:

derekido_ryo 俺じゃあかんかな?
D0CI @derekido_ryo  そう、亮ちゃんあかん^o^
derekido_ryo @D0CI うそっ!ほんま?

D0CI @derekido_ryo 亮ちゃんアホウや^^
derekido_ryo @D0CI なんか飲む?
D0CI @derekido_ryo OK, クラブで会おう! お酒いを飲んで酔う(笑)
derekido_ryo @D0CI ありがとう。

rotfl >__>

D0CI @wanshan1126 パアアアァン! こんにちは、丸ちゃん~~ 大好き! (^o^)
wanshan1126 @D0CI  ほんまにありがと!

but I wonder who's more stupid..I think it's me for  chatting with bots...lool

Mmmmh~ *_*;

Maybe i shiould look for a johnny kitagawa bot if there is one XDDDD

Samstag, 10. April 2010

Mittwoch, 7. April 2010






ちなみに、 5時だから、止めよう~


Dienstag, 6. April 2010

Jahr für Jahr..und doch

hab ich, wenn ich auf die diejährige LBM hinblicke überhaupt keinen Grund warum ich hingehen sollte. Natürlich klingt das mies auf den ersten Blick aber ja je mehr ich darüber im Bett nachgedacht habe, desto logischer erscheint es mir nicht hinzugehen, denn in den letzten Jahren ist  mein Anime und Manga-Konsum auf 0 gesunken. Und man sollte annehmen man besucht eine Buchmesse weil man sich für Bücher interessiert aber auch das tue ich allgemein nicht wirklich.
Und wenn man sich dann überlegt, dass man eigentlich nur hingeht um Leute wiederzutreffen, ist das schon traurig. Nun das ist jetzt nicht traurig an sich aber es ist doch irgendwie traurig wenn man bedenkt, dass man nur auf dieses Event wartet um einen Grund zu haben um sich zu treffen. Natürlich macht es Sinn wenn Leute so weit wegwohnen..wie zum Beispiel meine Cousine die auch zur LBM kommt..allerdings würde mich das nicht traurig stimmen sie nicht zusehen da ich sie einen Monat später sowieso sehe und dann viel mehr Zeit mit ihr verbringen und sinnvoll nutzen kann als ich es auf der LBM tun kann zwischen all dem Krach und Getümmel, der für mich sowohl Stress als auch Langeweile bedeutet. Stress, weil weil da tausende Leute rumrennen, die einen teilweise so zur Weißglut bringen, dass man ihnen nur in den Arsch treten will und Langeweile weil es für mich einfach keinen Spaß bedeutet, durch die Gänge zu marschieren weil es von Jahr zu Jahr nur das gleiche Zeug zu kaufen gibt, was ich sowieso nicht kaufe weil es nicht zu meiner Welt gehört.
Natürlich könnte ich auch wieder Ha-chan treffen aber ich glaube auch zu wissen, dass es für uns keinen großen Unterschied macht ob wir stressig durch die Gänge laufen oder ob wir im Msn über Gott über die Welt in Ruhe chatten.
Aber nunja irgendwie will ich darüber nicht noch mehr reden da es noch genug andere Dinge gibt, die es mir einfach nicht ermöglichten einzuschlafen. Dinge wie...ein erneuter Brief vom Arbeitsamt für mein "gewünschtes" Berusberatungsgespräch.
Bitte? Ich meine mich zu erinnern, dass ich sehr wohl vor zwei Wochen einen Brief abgeschickt habe, aber indem ging es lediglich um weitere Zusendungen und nicht um ein Berufsberatungssgepräch. Und deshalb werd ich da bestimmt auch nicht antanzen weil es wiegesagt nicht von mir gewünscht war, wie im Brief stand. Zudem mein Berufsberater das selbst weiß. Fragt sich wer da wieder was durcheinander gebracht hat. Bürokratie ist herrlich.

Was hätten wir noch...hmm mein Bruder hat also vorgestern die glorreiche Idee gehabt dass wir zum 50ten Geburtstag meiner Tante, die vor ein paar Jahren nach Bayern gezogen ist, hinfahren. Natürlich, wir waren ja auch eingeladen also warum nicht. Deshalb hab ich mal einfach gesagt, dass ich auch mitfahre, weil ich ja eh  noch nie in Bayern war und es mich doch interessiert mal die Südliche Hälfte Deutschland zu sehen. XD Stell ich mir persönlich nett vor. Headline "Eingefleischte Ossis stürmen München" Ja darauf freu ich mich naja eigentlich sollte man ja auch so langsam von den Worten Wessis und Ossis wegkommen aber ich denke, das ist meiner Generation noch nicht möglich..und wenn man so die alten und die neuen Bundesländer wirtschaftlich vergleicht, ist da auch noch kein Gleichgewicht vorhanden..deshalb halte ich meine Headline noch für legitim. Man geht natürlich auch mit Vorurteilen behaftet an die Sache. Ich meine hey es ist Bayern..das einzige was ich mit Bayern verbinden kann, sind Berge, Dirndl, Oktoberfest, Weißwurscht zürzeln, Bier und Bayrisch. Ich glaub das Gebiet muss man erst gesehen haben bevor man diesen Schlagwörtern wegkommt, wobei ich ja immer noch der Überzeugung bin, dass Ausländer allgemein diese Schlagwörter mit ganz Deutschland verbinden. Wurde ich auch letztens mit bestätigt als  wir uns im Siam Shade Forum über unsere nationale traditionelle Musik unterhalten haben und ein brasilianischer Freund auf ein Youtube Video verwiesen  mit "Oktoberfestblasmusik". hat. Aber ich glaube München selbst ist wie eine normale Großstadt...aber wahrscheinlich wird der Ort in dem meine Tante wohnt schon eher Oktoberfestfeeling haben.  Nun wir werden sehen ich bin gespannt.
Auf jeden Fall kann man sagen, dass ich quasi in den nächsten 35 Tagen Bilder von einen der nördlichsten Punkte Deutschlands machen werde und von einen der südlichsten Punkte. Naja gut, ich denke das haut beides nicht so hin...aber danach kann ich bestimmt entscheiden was mir besser gefällt.

Okay Nachteil ist..den närdlichsten Besuch ich schon übermorgen deshalb weiß ich nicht ob das Wetter mitspielt..bisher Schnee...
aber ich kann mir vorstellen im April wird bereits der Frühling da sein...deshalb wird die Landschaft in Bayern bestimmt sehr hübsch aussehen. <3  Berge mag ich nicht...sie machen mir irgendwie Angst hmm...sie sehen zwar schön aus aber so Hügelland ist doch etwas eigenartig..viele schlechte Erfahrungen mit Tüten während Autofahrten durch Berglandschaften..wie im Erzgebirge und Harz ^^;

Hmm Was hab ich noch anzubieten? achja 2 Wochen wieder Zahnarzt wie immer halt...einmal gegangen dann bin ich gleich wieder 2 mal im Monat Gast solange bis ich wieder mal keine Lust habe...tze..aber ist auch echt ermüdend.
Meine schone scheint mir langsam kaputtzugehen.. Naja Kunststoff hällt nicht ewig..und sie hält ja schon 3 1/2 Jahre..ich glaub sie würde länger halten aber ich hab in den letzten Jahren auch bestimmt wieder Nächte im Sägewerk verbracht und hart gearbeitet...deshalb..
Aber wie bereits schon in Twitter gesagt (Aber da sag ich eh zu viel XD) ich glaub 7 Kronen würd ich mir auf anhieb selbst verpassen. Aber jaja die lieben Preise...also liebe Kinder denkt immer daran, dass ihr an die 20000euro im Mund habt. Aber eines Tages werde ich auch prahlen: Meine Zähne sind 383891919Euro wert! *strahl* <<  lol

Ende März kommt meine Schwester samt Kerl und Kegel. Ach ich freu mich schon auf das kleine Würschtel <3

Ach ich wüsst vllt noch mehr aber ich glaub das reicht mir erst einmal.
Heutiges Mittag: Kartoffeln, Spinat mit Ei -> Legger *______*
Heutiges Abendbrot: Idee meines geliebten Bruders: "Lass mal legger Pizza bestellen vom Lieferservice" ->> bin ich für o.o

Also für alle die meine jetzige Planung interessiert wann ich mal in den kommenden Wochen spannede Tage erlebe

8 - 10. März -> Ahlbeck (2Tages Praktikum)
20. März ->  Schwester + Anhang für 2 Wochen
25. März -> Zahnarzt (naja gut weniger spannend)
7. April  -> Muttis Geburtstag lool
13(?) -> 19 April  -> Bayern // Tantchens 50ten feiern xD

Ist mir um ehrlich zu sein actionreich genug @.@ Nichts für ungut aber irgendwie ist mir das turbulend genug um eine LBM vom 19-21. März ausfallen zu lassen @.@ Kinderstress hab ich danach noch 2 Wochen

06 April 2010 @ 03:58

Manchmal ist es schon bedauerlich. Nun, es ist nicht so, dass ich zum Leben dieser Person gehöre, aber diese Person gehört nunmal zu meinem Leben dazu. Und genau deshalb ist es nun auch manchmal erschreckend, wenn man wieder mal bestimmte Dinge erfährt, die einen nicht so erfreuen. Gut, auch wenn diese person zu meinem Leben gehört, heißt das nicht, dass es mich etwas angeht, was diese Person mit ihrem Leben macht.
Man bildet sich doch seine Meinung. Ich kann viel dulden aber manchmal komme auch ich an meine Grenzen. Vielleicht ist das aber nur der Preis...
Letztendlich jedoch, was manche Dinge anbelangt, ist es schwer von Wahrheit und Lüge zu unterscheiden. Ich könnte diese Person verteidigen und sagen: "Das hat XY nicht getan!" aber wie könnte ich das tun, wo ich mir noch nicht mal sicher sein kann, ob es wahr ist.


in 5 hours I have an appointment. And then, I will go shopping with my mum for my aunt's birthday in some weeks.
Next week already going to bavaria for one week with my brother and my mum. Somehow I don't feel like it but..I need to go outside and see some other parts of this world..or let's rather say Germany. In the end it doesn't matter where but it somehow everytime I leave my place for such a long feels like I will miss something. Not missing like "OH GOD NO, I MISSED THAT NEWS!" but rather like..I don't know. It's the real world which doesn't have anything to do with my own it might be clumsy expressed. But I won't be able to go back and hide somewhere where I feel home. I should call it holiday..yeah..maybe it brings back some motivation and a "Oh it's good to be alive"-feeling. XD
Baby didn't scream yet, tonight. It might scream and cry soon again

Sonntag, 4. April 2010

──── ※

Ihr interessiert euch genauso sehr für meine Welt, wie ich mich für eure interessiere.
Aber das ist nur ein transparenter Vorhang.
Und wer schaut durch diesen Umhang ab und an? - Ich
Doch das, was ich da sehe ist unerträglich, denn letztendlich fühlt es sich so an, als wäre hinter diesem transparenten Vorhang noch ein eiserner Vorhang.

Ich weiß nicht, ob ich mich schuldig fühlen soll, denn ich lebe noch in der gleichen Welt, wie ich es schon vor Jahren tat.
Ihr seid es, die meine Welt, die auch mal eure war, verlassen habt.

Und deshalb weiß ich nicht, ob ich diesen für mich transparenten Vorhang heben sollte, denn die Chance besteht, das wenn ich ihn hebe..sich etwas offenbart, was vorher doch verborgen war...

Samstag, 3. April 2010


Some positive things. Finished the Coutndown DVD..<3
It's really precious. Honestly I think it's much better than Puzzle.
They all were really gorgeous. I am too tired to make it proper now but yeah that's it.
I knew there was this instrumental bandsession with Ryo..but it still surprised me somehow.
He's of course far away from being a good guitarist ..even I noticed some minor mistakes in his playing...but you know
What amazed me everytime seeing Eito concerts year after year...their development. It amazes me.
I am so glad that they all try to improve on their skills.

As for Subaru. Well actually there is nothing I see at him improving. maybe it's the guitar...well the singing is the same as always. If it's something, it's probably letting out his inner child, agression and happiness. I like that a lot.

As for Yoko..with every year he becomes more adorable. I was really moved to tears at the end when he had his talk. XD Like not the end..I mean before they performed Fuyu Koi. For his dancing skills. I don't really know if he's improving..he still makes some moving mistakes...I won't say a lot..but there are some. But honestly, I wouldn't like seeing Yoko perfectly dancing...It's like..there would be something missing.
His Singing skills however, I think they improve o_O It sounds surprisingly well except for some high notes he tries to hit..because then it's hard for him to let it out properly..but it's alright. The 413performance was awesome <3

Maru..Maru is Maru..XD I don't know either if he improves on something. If might be the bass playing. I was really like: Awww Maru <3 while watching the instrumental bandsession. Well after all he's not really sane but that's why he's Maru. (Oh wait...who was I indirectly talking to here aswell XDD)

Ohkura...yeah I am coming to Ohkura now..because usually he's the last person who comes to my mind when trying to list all K8 members. XD Ohkura was gorgeous. I don't even know how he did it but his voice was so...O__O I wondered when did he learn to sing so beautiful XD
Well sure even his Mamoritai version back then was already strong..but I think he really improved.

Hina...oh Hina...I think he tries his best..and that's for sure not only because of the money. He really looks like as if he is enjoying what he's doing even though he might not have any real strong point except talking. But I also like how he shows the will to trying hard to learn to support the band with a keyboard. Well I never really paid attention to his dancing but it should be alright.
As for singing. I am not even sure if he will become better someday. I don't think know when it's about performances and singing..the only people I am worried about if they won't screw the whole thing up are Hina and...Ryo XD It's not even Yoko there anymore. In the past it was always about Yoko and Hina..well maybe also some
But yeah what really amazed me too was Hina's hyperness. He had drugs ongoing? I don't know. Quite smart..maybe too smart XDD
But somehow I think...Yoko and Hina try extra hard..because they know compared to the other members they have some slight put into names singing and playing instruments..though I think for Yoko the main problem is really lately just the instruments part.
I am sorry for him. Personally I can't play an instrument either..but I really think it sometimes bothers him that he can only play the bongos at bandsessions. But I also wonder what instrument would be still good to add?  3guitars, drums, keyboard..I am really sorry for him. But Yoko nonetheless you are awesome and shiny. And it's because I pity you. He's really awesome!

And my story behind Yoko is...well I know even back then in 2007 I was always laughing about my friend Sushi..since she was the mega Yoko fan, finding him all cute...and awesome.
Well I don't think he was that awesome yet back then but that's maybe because I only judged him by his singing and dancing skills and by his look. But he's so much more xD  Eventually I had my "Omg Yoko you are so cute!"-moment on that dvd...
like yeah the part I talked the end. He was smiling so...I don't know it wasn't only the smile...he had something in his eyes where I really thought: "Ah Yoko really seems to appreciate the fans a lot and seems to be so happy being in this band. <3 and then..his finger <333333"
And also...that mentioned trying hard to improve thingy...really aaaw yoko why so adorable...such a feeling :D Oh yeah I am fangirling too much about Yoko today...but I am so proud! I can't put it into words...

Back to the member wagon..Yasu. Yasu was...cute as always of course. Well I will always find his clothes weird..but that's why he is Yasu too. I love his guitar playing <3 I loved how he smiled and stick out his tongue happily at the instrumental band in the moment when Ryo finished his solo..somehow Yasu seemed to be happy about how Ryo made "Yah You made it. Congrats!" that was simply adorable. Apart from that..Yasu and Maru in the cam..haha...okay that reminds me also of Tacchon in the cam. Somehow scary but also cute XDD

I think I have them all..well somehow it seems I have not much to say about Subaru and Maru but that's not because I like them lesser. It's rather like I have not much to say because I was able to put their awesomeness into short words. :D
Oh wait..I think I forgot someone...Ryo?  (That sounds like I decided to leave him behind now because I fell in love with no not like that..really..)
As everyone knows..I am probably trying to analyze him  the most on concerts.  But I think it's normal. I think we all study our favourite guys the most. At the puzzle tour I must say I was disappointed, yes. But that's nothing new. I still don't know what it was back then..if it was a disease or I have no idea..but compared to Puzzle he was fine. Yeah..I never want to praise him for his singing because...I think there is stil a reserve simply I know he can do better. And no I don't try to expect too much from him I think. 
But I think there are some things he could go and  improve just by singing. Like his "I don't care how I will sound like at the end of my line"-attitude..which turns out to be all..gross XD Subaru can do it and still sounds wonderful..I mean that trying to scream just for fun part coz real serious singing. I like that fooling around...but Ryo doesn't really seem to have a feeling for this..always lines where you think: "Oh shit why did you had to kill this line..."
BUT..something I didn't already mentioned before..the awesome bandsession. Well he was not real awesome..when I compare it to other awesome guitarists. But from the viewpoint as a Ryo Fan..and when focuse on him..he was good. I think it was a success for him. Being finally allowed to join the bandsession is a small success and means you are good enough to show what you got. Improof~
I think it's the greatest gift that you can get from your members. I think he was really glad that he could join them...I know I heard once he totally screwed up, and this one also had at least 2 mistakes I can call to my mind right now...but yeah. Improof!

Yes I know I say the word Improve/improof a lot in here but that's what it is about. I don't want to be like...aah they sucked there and this was totally shit and blah. I love to see their development. That's also one reason why I am an Eito fan to the core. A minor reason but it is also there. I am not a fan of bands where everything works perfect. I mean yeah let's come to my other love SIam Shade again...they were and still are technically genius..but they had/have this awesome singer..who has this something..which makes it so interesting that it is just BAM. It colours the technical perfection in such a beautiful way...not in a perfect way...but for me it's perfect with all the mistakes he did sometimes...and with all the our magical Subaru. XD Yes I consider Subaru as a Entertainer. A weird kind of Entertainer but he is such kind of being. Well all of K8 are in their own way entertainers I guess. Maru is for sure an entertiner too, without question.

Okay that it for now...let's end the entry with words by Hideki...but in this entry they come from the buttom of my heart to Eito
声に声に出来ない思い キミを深く愛してる ❤❤❤