Dienstag, 31. August 2010


First working month over.
Yesterday I arrived at my lovely home again. <3
Today I had my first driving lessons for 2 1/2 hours. I was really scared while driving and can't think that I have to continue these kind of trips to the hell again XDDD
Tomorrow is my first day at school ! Well...jobschool or how do you call it in English. (Too lazy to look it up) looking forward to meet up with my collegue from my work place..cause she's in the same class...so I guess we will sit next to each other at least xD
Also went to the dentist today again. After something of my tooth fell apart again, it was repaired today...but I think on 14th..when I have my next dentist date I will ask her to check this one other tooth cause it hurts when drinking hot stuff like coffee etc (>_<)

So..all I have to do today is...well much to do...instead of doing all these kind of stuff I prefered doing nothing at all and was just relaxing in front of my laptop. Well I also went to the train station with my mum in the early afternoon to buy my train ticket for this month. She drove me and payed cause I am still waiting to get my first loan on my bank account. Well I technically have already enough on it but I was too lazy to go to the bank. So I will go in the next days to give that 250 euro back to my mum (which are also technicaly my brothers he provided us for renewing our pediment. That's expensive btw..around 1200Euro x_x)
I wonder when I will come home tomorrow. guess around 5pm. Maybe 4pm..depends if that statement in the letter from july with 3pm is trustworthy XD but have to get up at 4.30am >_< but if the school day is long...sucks..right ^^;

I miss my ”lover” :(

Donnerstag, 26. August 2010

26 August 2010 @ 16:36

There is no day anymore I don't get any criticism. But the best thing is when you get criticism which is so pointless, especially when a person didn't even see that I did it and won't be able to see it.
That person is real madness. In the beginning I always thought she's a nice woman but she slowly turned into a strange being and then you never know what's inside her. I wonder if she's a frustrated person. I mean sometimes she's smiling all brightly at me and then again there are moments in which she tells me I am lying.
Yeah sure I maybe have a weird aura but I wonder what I have done to her. (o_o) Maybe I really need to fight harder and show them that I am capable for this. I already do it but I have noticed I have an disadvantage because even the 16year old other girl in my same rank has already done related practical work.
Anyway they are slowly acting all crazy. not everyone of course. like 50% is nice, 20% is neutral and the rest  30% is somehow pissed off though I don't give them any reason except my slowness to get pissed.
Not to forget about my "lover" at work..lool <3

Also..I am tired. I still love this work..though I noticed today that I have done something wrong with my back. it's really a tough job considering the back. that's why It hurts a lot right now.

Samstag, 21. August 2010


Though I wasn't really gone. Had my 3 days off.
Well honestly I only have to work 2 more days and then I have another 3 days off.
I dont mind not really mind.
After I had the worst day on wednesday and got taught what I am doing wrong I really thought  I am no good at all.
I really wonder if the other girl is doing better. Well there are things I might be good at, cause I really like the people there..but
somehow I feel like a slow snail who loses the orientation under time pressure.
I am not sure how to meet the requirements. >_< I mean...
I have the feeling that they want to make use of us quickly to the fullest to save money.
It's probably easy for a person there to say: "I don't get what's so difficult doing that." Yeah of course she doesnt know since she's already working there for years and knows the work flow by heart. Well ok it's their own fault that I didn't get it cause they forgot to copy it for me....
and then she looked in weird way at me..after she told me: "you didn't manage to get Mrs. X ready" and I answered "Yeah cause I didn't make it in time" I mean come on...that was a really hard task..she told me in the morning "please get Mrs. A, Mrs B. Mrs C, Mrs D and Mrs. X ready"
ready means. washing completely, dressing, make their bed. and for that I had time from 6.45 till 7.50am. I will avoid telling general stuff right now like that basically for washing is around 20minues planned.
And then if I think about it...I dont have the feeling that they do wash that many people in the morning either. speaking of theory there were only 12 people in the morning (recently) to wash. so why the hell I had to do 5? D: I mean yeah I get the point but dont expect that I am rushing them in 10minutes per person. I already improved to manage them in around 15minutes but see even if I do one person in 15 minutes. that's too slow. so okay I will rush them (when I can from now >___>) in this job you have to act like a machine. goal is 5minutes each person or what...oO

Eito performance on MS was okay. Well you could at least hear that they play the instruments live too because it was off key sometimes...and ended as an "ouch" in my ears. XDD But then again the only person who amazed me in this performance was ohkura o_o
Subaru and Ryo were totally overdoing it..probably they were too overwhelmed by the fact that they are able to use instruments on ms for this song. I mean for Subaru it works since he still makes the sounds more or less beautiful but Ryo was just an horribly dying swan. o__o

Donnerstag, 5. August 2010

Actually there is not much to talk about

because I have like none freetime right now.
I really started to cherish my less freetime. But you know like that you really start to enjoy your private life more cause it becomes more precious.  Too bad is that with one part of your brain you are always at work cause you can't stop thinking about the people you have there.
As for freetime...well I have nothing to talk about. THat less time I have I use just for chatting and washing my clothes..oh and showering.
Apart from that I do nothing..eating the rest of food I have..well like this I might survive till saturday when I have weekend off but there is like no time to buy stuff right now. XD
When I come home in the evening at almost 10pm I am going into the shower right away and then start to wash 3-4 things :/ maybe I should just leave it for later when I have a free day off but you know the more you collect the more you have to wash. And if I wasn't washing anything in a long working period without a day off (like the 9 days soon) it would get troublesome. And in just these 2 working days I was already lucky that at both days I did something wrong with my shirts. first time it somehow got dirty on the arm and the other one today..well I had to write a lot today so I ended up also writing by mistake on my shirt by accident with my biro some times..wtf >_< I am such a clumsy person..and yesterday when I wanted to wear this one shirt in the morning I put toothpaste on it..you know toothpaste is evil...even if you try to clean it right away it wont work out cause when its dry again the toothpaste is still on the shirt..what annoyance.
I am thinking of going home in my 3 days off-row in 2 weeks  but it's expensive..I can't afford 40euro just for going home in the first month cause payday is just at the end of august...and then next month will be also sad cause I have to buy books for school. and all school months are sad cause it costs 150euro per month >__< so if I think about it...next month I have hmm...about 200euro left...lol but I am at home at that time..so hotel mama will make me stay alive I hope.  I should really try to live with the minimum of food. XD But you know it's alright to live just with bread. at the end of september I should be able to feel alive. lol. oh not money talk. I hate that. But it's just for my existence and nothing else for now. You know that I am a stingy person so no one can easily convince me to buy something, not even fandom related stuff.  ANd if I think about it, I would rather buy 2 same albums of DETROX to support Hideki than to buy one single of Kanjani. That's not biased but just because I know Kanjani have enough supporters. If it's Kanjani or any Johnny I don't have the feeling that it has any meaning to them cause if I buy it or not doesn't affect their rank 1.  I know if everyone thought like that they would be crap too but is it even something special for all those johnnys to be rank 1? no.it's pressure because if they dont rank nr. 1 they failed)..I mean what's the goal of all those johnnys? do they have any goals in their career? What they do is always the same. While so many musicians dream of playing in the tokyo dome someday, it's something natural on tour for them.
I noticed somehow idols must have a quite boring life.
Anyway I would rather like to support an artist who appreciates when the music he/she made by her/himself is ranking higher. The goal is one but it's not about reaching the goal right away. And then again, I also know that my support also reaches the right person.

Well somehow I am still shocked that HE replied to GEO. But now...we are both annoyed by HIM cause he doesn't answer anymore but well he's not online so this is probably nothing to be annoyed by...eeeeh...yeah there is not much to talk about but still it turned out as a novel again X

Sonntag, 1. August 2010


Forget to take the digicam along with me yesterday that's why I was only able to take crappy pics with my notebook webcam o.O

probably hard to imagine how the room looks like cause I neither took a pic of the table nor of the door and big wardrobe XD oh and not my bathroom...and not the kitchen either. Anyway room is nice but I don't feel well. Sick sick >_< really getting more horrible with each day so it feels like at least X.x but you know something which doesnt kill us makes us only stronger..but for some reason that quote isn't valid.
tomorrow is my first working day. yesterday I got my school cone! NO JOKE! I really got one XD
let's see how it works out. I will already make 3 crosses when the first 4 weeks are over and when I am going back home. lol
Earlier my mum phoned me...sounded all lively..not my mum but ion the bg I heard my niece...my aunt...and somehow I felt like playing skip-bo. But you can't play skip-bo alone...boo T_T still need to fill out my interest list and such things (T__T) I feel like doing a survey~
Guess I should also have a shower soon. bah I hate it you know xD
that's all for now...