Yes I reached this kind of point in my Hideki adoring finally!
What kind ???
The bashing point XDD
Actually that is and was always my favourite point when it comes to Ryo. because at the point when you start to realize that a person you like has not only good but also weak points the person becomes more human. XD
In the beginning it's always like: Oh yes perfect! (through the rose-coloured glasses XD) although you see the weak points too but it's like..even so they are not visible. Well in the end it doesn't make the people less likeable but it shows somehow more personality. Of course, it's also subjective.
Like for example my mum got pissed off the day before yesterday coz she feels like I don't like her and treat her like junk. Well this is not true, but I think coz I like her I have to show my true self. And if my true self is in a bad mood I show it.
Everytime I am sighing while walking upstairs she asks: "What is it???" And I am like "It's nothing." coz in these moments it's really nothing. I don't know why people always consider sighing as something is bothering you.
Well truth is my voice is not really a friendly one..it's quite deep so it can be easily seen as "moody" no matter what I say. That's why I always try in public when I talk to strangers to make it sound friendly. But in fact, when I do so I personally think it sounds fake, just because I KNOW it's fake in those occasions. (>_<) But I don't want that strangers think I am unfriendly so I have no other option...(T_T)
Another thing. Since I lost all my pics (+ all music which wasn't on my ipod) ..lets say..my personal Ryo picture collection about 11gb or what it was I decided to let it be. It's not like I am sad. In the end I think it was such a waste of time collecting pics. Pics are there to stare at them .but if you have thousand of pics of the same people it somehow feels wrong. Why do you collect thousand of pics of people you don't know but have like none of your friends and family you collect. That's something when you start to think about: Who are the people important to your life, those who make you happy and those you can always talk to when you feel down or bored.
Right now I have the feeling everything is fading. Almost all the people I love are either already gone to far away places or are going in the next few months. And no matter if I say: Distance doesn't change anything, in the end it affects friendship a lot.
This is bothersome...coz in the last years although they are all so close even then meetings were rare. I don't think it's coz our friendships have become weaker or we just don't care for each other anymore, it's somehow...well I don't know what you call this. It's like as if time is frozen but even so it's running..but then when you look back...so much time passed by but the feelings are still the same. Such a feeling.
Hmm I think I will go to bed now. XD
Ah before I forget it...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HA-CHAN!!
Ich hoffe du kriegst uch heute zum Bday Kuchen! (Wenn Mario der Fresssack nicht alles ufffrisst >__>)
