[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-06-16 / 21:28:34

2012-06-16 21:28:34

Title: Finally I wrote a new song.

No..I will put the Bear talk a little bit to the side.
Today it's about japanese lyrics.
Although I put all my energy in it, write and write and write
I can't be satisfied with it. And then I already start to think about myself...thinking "Am I alright?"
But now, I finally finished one composition again.
Honestly, I will put it aside nowand then I will keep rereading and correcting it
until I will reach my limit...
Writing songs, means to face myself,
which is also quite painful sometimes.
My own mental state, wishes, sadness, fear, joy - I can leave behind everything of that in a song.
And when I listen to it even though some time has past,
it feels like I can "feedback" Myself, the way I was at that time.
Music is a miracle....
I almost forgot everything what I have learned at school
but I still remember the songs I learned back then, without even forgetting one line.
Well it's like....lyrics are monochrome but joined together with music,
they turn into 3D full colour...
That's why, it feel's like watching a movie when you listen to a song.
Sometimes, It feels like the guitar says that it is sad, more sad than words do...
so at times like these, I can't write something sad.
DAITA's and K-A-Zkun's Guitars talk often (laughs)
It's almost like they become Sada Masashi-san's "kita no kuni kara"
I will try to sing now because it feels like I will be able to sing stoutly right now.
Bye

original entry

[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-06-15 / 17:48:54

2012-06-15 / 17:48:54

Title: how is it?

That bear was delicious because it's not stale, right?
Normal dougnuts are hard to eat because they are stale.
Also, normally I don't eat sweet stuff because I hate getting fat.
But, when I write lyrics, I eat them in order to activate my brain.
Aah~ that's painful.... I just come up with plain things and so I wanted to hear something good from everyone,
but all you do is saying BEAR-CHAN BEAR-CHAN to Ima-chan.
Just at such a time,  I get 70 comments....?
But there was only one person who understood me.
Putting that aside, Someday they will have HANNYAs?
I wonder if they had them here, those HANNYAs.

Calling that KUMA Kuma-chan is alright I think, I will bear with that, I will give the permission.
But there was one person who said KUMA-TAN!!
You know, saying such stuff as "I ate Kuma-tan" ~~~~~~~
that makes me remember a story it is connected with.
That's why for me this a matter of life and death.
Even if Hideki eats KUMA, I won't eat KUMA-tan.
From now on, I will forbid you to write "~tan" in your messages.
But saying "Gyuutan" (Beef tongue) is OK!!
Ah~ scary.
Probably sentences like "Is that so?" will increase in the messages, 
and then if I also started recommending Beef tongue to you, then people would start to think that I am scary in a totally different way.

Although I attempted to sing the song I finished to write,
I started to panic because of Kuma-tan
Well then, everyone, that's all for now...
Now,  I, HIDEKI, 
will sing chu ❤
Bye!

original entry

[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-06-15 / 01:38:28

2012-06-15 / 01:38:28
Title: It's different! There's a misunderstanding!!

That bear has only sometimes a bear face.
Because it was seriously delicious I think I was tricked and went to try to eat it only once!!
I like it no matter if it is a bear or a Hannya but
it doesn't mean that I LOVE❤ bears.
Taste comes before the bear. [1]
You get it? Don't misinterpret this strangely .
Furthermore, real bears are extremely scary.
I don't think that you can add a "-chan" like that to them and call them Bear-chan.
At any rate, tomorrow you all should go to mister donut and eat bears!!
Then you will understand that my choice wasn't wrong.

Bye!

original entry

[1] People think that Hideki meant something like "Personality comes before look" between the lines.
since the inside of the dougnut is tasty and the outside is just the BEAR-Face.
So as long as it is tasty it doesn't matter if it's a bear or a hannya...lol

[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-06-14 / 20:39:55

2012-06-14 / 20:39:55

Title: Hello

Today was pretty chaotic because I did several stuff.
And now I am writing lyrics at ease after the work outside has finished.
By the way, just earlier I felt like eating something sweet,
so I went to Mister Donut. And then at the time when I got a bear-face-Doughnut on my
meal tray there were 2 girls standing close to me and they started to laugh at me with a "PUPU~"
Is it so wrong that I am eating a BEAR~~~~!

Bye!

[IMAGE]

p.s.
Don't make me say it again!!
I am kyawaii


original entry
~~~~~
Yeah Hideki you are kyawaii.
It might be a kind of modern stylish word to express that something is so cute that you have to kya~ XD

Darüber schreiben oder nicht..

hmm ich entscheide mich mal einfach gekonnt dafür bevor ich mir ne Mütze Schlaf hole.
Nachdem ich mich den ganzen späten Nachmittag und Abend mit 8 Seiten ausm Buch abpinseln über Stomapflege abgemüht habe..bin ich auch heute zu vielerlei Erkenntnissen gekommen.
Vllt hat der Besuch im Hospiz auch ein wenig dazu beigetragen.
Die Fragestellung..was ist einem wichtig ist im Leben..was verliert an Bedeutung....so sehr beantworten kann ich sie momentan auch nicht. Aber es kam mir ein klarer Gedanke, dass es DAS unter diesen Voraussetzungen definitiv nicht sein kann.
Kostbare Stunden...später werde ich diese kostbare Zeit bestimmt bereuen...wurde ich mir bewusst...kostbare Zeit, die ich damit verschwendet habe, etwas zu tun, was für mich selbst eigentlich nur eine ehrenamtliche Aufgabe ist aber zu viel meiner kostbaren Freizeit isst...
Zudem diese Aufgabe mich nicht glücklicher macht..nein im Gegenteil sie stellt mich unter (Zeit-)druck und lässt mich nur noch mehr über Nonsense nachdenken. Nun..mein Entschluss wurde gefasst..aus verschiedenen Gründen hab ich deshalb auch noch zusätzlich meinen Ameba account gelöscht..komischerweise ist der Blog noch da..ich hoffe der verschwindet auch noch?
Nun wie dem auch sei..nebenbei hab ich heute auf twitter bei epic tweets einen wirklich epic tweet gelesen und genau der hat mich in meinen Gedankenzügen noch bestätigt.

Don't lose yourself in attempt to hold on to someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Wie wahr wie wahr...und wie viele Male haben Counti und ich das schon miterlebt. Natürlich nie zusammen..aber geteiltes Leid ist halbes Leid...stimmt da trotzdem auch irgendwie nicht so recht.

Ich erwarte nichts mehr. Solang hab ich gewartet und solang hab ich versucht irgendwie da zu sein..als Stütze..aber ohne jegliche Anerkennung zu spüren..hach~
Nun wie schonmal erwähnt..damals gings uch um Sonderbehandlung, die jene Person anwandte und mir dann sagte aus mir unbekannten Gründen "So nu werd ich keine Sonderbehandlung mehr geben" woraufhin ich meinte "Wat? Sonderbehandlung? Solchen Mist wollt ich nie." Sein dämliches Gequackel von wegen... wegen Rassendiskriminierung behandelt zumindest er Ausländer besser und schenkt ihnen sogar ein wenig mehr Liebe.
Ja soll er ruhig aber aus solch einem Grund will kein AUSLÄNDER besser behandelt werden. Das ist auf gleicher Ebene rassistisch. Entweder gleiche Behandlung für alle oder gar keine! Nun, mittlerweile hat er sich wohl für zweiteres bezüglich alles und jeden entschieden. Er ist in einen seltsamen Wahn verfallen was wahrscheinlich auch an seiner Midlifecrisis liegt.
Aber ach..wie gut, dass er hier von kein Wort verstehen kann und womöglich könnte es sogar sein, dass ich es irgendwann bereue das hier gesagt zu haben..aber aus der Situation heraus: Nö.
Interessant wäre auch zu sagen, dass ich nie NIE meine Versprechen mir selbst gegenüber halten kann.
Zu sagen ich red ihn nie wieder schlecht. Nun..über jemanden reden und seine Sichtweisen zu kritisieren ist für mich nicht "schlecht reden". Aber das hat er ja damals schon nicht unterscheiden können.

Und mir zu sagen ich sollte ruhiger werden..tze...der pure Kulturschock. Es tut mir ja schon fast extrem leid zu sagen, dass er wohl keine Ahnung davon hat, was für Menschen, Kulturen, Ansichten, Persönlichkeiten und co.  hinter dem japanischen Meer liegen. Natürlich möge man meinen, wer schon in L.A, Deutschland für eine Nacht und Rumänien war, wüsste es vllt besser..aber aufgrund der Sprachbarriere hat er wohl noch nich viel davon genießen können.
Aber ach all das tut nichts zur Sache. Ich habs nicht so mit Anpassungsfähigkeit..immer wieder die gleiche Leier zu erzählen macht doch keinen Spaß. Das fängt schon bei "Ganbatte!!!" und zeug an...is mir alles scheleierhaft. Konservative Menschen sind sowieso extrem anstrengend. Aber es ist wohl zu spät irgendwas zu ändern...nun sei es drum.
Und dennoch gibt es zu viele Momente auch noch heute wo ich mich frage ob es zufall ist oder absicht. Aber sollte er eines Tages vor meiner Tür stehen und mir eine reinhauen, sag ich hier bescheid. :D!

[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-06-12 / 21:30:58

2012-06-12 / 21:30:58

Title: Soccer was great!

No~ I got unexpectedly excited !!!
Personally, when it is about soccer  I am a UCHIDA-Suppoter
and because of that I felt really sad seeing this facial expression of him after he was fouled which gave him a PK.
The reason why I like him is, although he was kicked with an elbow and fell on the ground he didn't show at all in his face that he was in pain but instead he stood up again as if nothing had happened.
That will to win and that length of his feet which are rare for soccer players, and his manly spots
and the fact that he's wearing jerseys in his freetime, is good isnt it.
I can also understand why he's popular with girls!
Speaking of that, speaking about that BASS person yesterday, who I was talking about?
Without doubt? Was that Uchida?
Was it the same Ucchi who was called Ucchi (Wuchy) by everyone....
But for bassists, BASS Ucchi's (Wuchy) short fingers are also rare,
or rather I should say he has small hands.
Well, but no matter what kind of Wuchy I am talking about, he's a man with power.
The sumo-ring will change now but you know, I am also glad that I am not in the same generation and in a different genre as Saijou Hideki-san and Matsui Hideki-san.
As for musicians it's Kaji Hideki, eeh! Bam!
Right now when I typed in "Kaji Hideki" (カジヒデキ) and changed it, it converted to "Kaji Hideki" (カジヒデキ) right away.
Well, I lost....
Although my "Hideki" （栄喜） is so natural.....
Hey! Who is that? Who is that person who does this pc coversion programm!!
That order is wrong!!
Idiot!! I definitely can't accept this as valid!! (nattoku ikan na)
That makes me sad!　(ikan desu)
It's not an old man-gag...it's just because
I am writing lyrics now, that's the reason why it rhymes....
Kaji Hideki , that name definitely is catchy....
It's unbelievable but could I also call myself "Mojihideki"? (laughs)
No, that sounds too ugly.
No, I am wrong. it's not the right time to be worried about such a thing right now. 

Bye!

original entry 

~~~~
Hideki thinks it's absoluttely funny to start calling the soccer player UCHIDA Ucchi as well.
I mean indeed when I Mean WUCHY I write WUCHY..but Hideki always writes Wuchy as Ucchi in Katakana...so now I had a hard tim to differentiate them XD

[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-06-12 / 10:00:01

2012-06-12 / 10:00:01

Title: 3 BASS recordings are finished.

Yesterday. wuchy played 3 songs of my album for me which I am producing right now.
Typically of Wuchy, the first thing he said regarding the new BASS line he thought of by mself was "Hideki-san, isn't that phrase good!" and then he would sometimes give me this self-satisfied look. (laughs)
I don't know how Wuchy thinks about it but
I am pretty grateful that he's all serious about music.

[IMAGE]


Next topic is about the presale for the SHIBUYA BOXX concert on 23. September.
I am going to do a kind of lottery, because obviously there are more people who want to go than there is space for them in the hall.
That random normal sale for the tickets will start on 7th July at 10am.
Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu.

Thank you
Going to give my best at the Recording.
Hideki
Bye!

original entry

Der Moment wenn man anfängt sich selbst auf die Nerven zu gehen.

Und das nur weil man das Gefühl hat man denkt immer wieder das gleiche.
Ja man ist schon von sich selbst genervt weil man immer wieder die gleiche Grütze denkt, ohne eine Entscheidung treffen zu können.
Man jammert lieber rum, denkt pessimistisch hoch 3...
Sachen wie...
"Es wird nie wieder so sein wie es mal war."
"Es wird nichts ändern."
"Eigentlich kann ich auch aufhören."

Aber es fehlt das entscheidene Etwas, was mich von meiner Entscheidung abhält. Etwas, womit ich leben kann. Im Grunde eine klare Antwort.
Es geht hier nicht um eine Wunschvorstellung. Es geht hier nicht um eine unglückliche Liebe. Nein, das alles hat damit gar nichts zu tun selbst wenn es manchmal so rüberkommt.
Es ist einfach nur ein quälender Gedanke.

Man kann nicht als Fan einfach wieder quasi von 0 anfangen, so tun als sei nichts gewesen.
Nehmen wir an, man ist ein Fan von einer Band, die gar nicht weiß, dass man existiert. Es ist einem egal ob sie es wissen oder nicht. Wenn sie es zufällig mitkriegen dass man existiert, isses cool..sicher...aber kein Grund irgendwas am Fandasein zu ändern.
Etwas völlig anderes ist es jedoch wenn man zu einer Person von der man Fan ist...und womöglich ist es noch eine Person, die du am allerliebsten in der ganzen Branche magst....egal..wenn man zu so einer Person eine Art persönliche Beziehung aufbaut..über Wochen oder Monate hinweg Tag für Tag gegenseitig Mails schreibt...
und dann plöötzlich....zoooooom bricht der Kontakt aus irgendwelchen nichtigen Gründen ab.

Passiert. Ja. Passiert auch oft mal online wenn man einfach ne nette Person kennenlernt und plötzlich ignoriert sie einen bzw gibt schwammige Argumente warum man nu nicht mehr miteinander chatten sollte.
Da fragt man sich doch..was zur Hölle ist da los...bzw wie kann das sein..was hat man so falsch gemacht.
Und irgendwie...naja..fragt man sich ob man der Person überhaupt noch irgendwas bedeutet.
Man könnte meinen von der Reaktion allein: "Nö!"
Aber wenn es nie ausdrücklich gesagt wurde, kann man damit auch nicht leben. Zumindest ich kann es nicht...aber vllt muss ich ja einfach damit leben?
Vielleicht ist es einfach so wie es ist. Vielleicht sollte ich micch einfach damit abfinden?
Aber leichter gesagt als getan. Aber vielleicht...vielleicht geschieht ja noch ein Wunder. Ich brauche nur ein Zeichen..ein Zeichen um entscheiden zu können wie es weitergeht.....

[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-06-11 / 08:02:47

 2012-06-11/ 08:02:47
Title: Morning.

Today is the BASS recording for the album.
Wuchy will play it for me.
It will start after lunch. Until then I have to sort the data of the recording and put it onto the harddisc....
I guess I will have a break from my Dracula life for a while...
Ok! I am going to do it firmly!
Bye!

original entry

[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-06-10 / 23:34:25

2012-06-10 / 23:34:25

Title: The video resolution is low....

The video resolution has become low but I have uploaded it.
http://youtu.be/f1D2R-hLK94

original entry

[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-06-10 / 04:57:22

2012-06-10 04:57:22

Title: Uploaded the video

Uploaded the livestation video to http://youtu.be/K0b_qRSEJRI
Please watch it as soon as possible, because I won't have it uploaded for a long time.

original entry

Hideki writes too many blog entries and I obviously

write too less of them by myself in my own blog.
It's because I am so busy translating his entries in my blog that I don't have any time to write my own entries.  :(
On the other hand I don't have much to write about because I usually write about everything important what's on my mind on twitter..although I know it will be vanished soon when it's there.

But aaaaah today is already Sunday, huh? And...my niece is still sitting in my room although it's already 2.35am!!! Fuck go to bed!
And fuck I have school on monday..means getting up early...baeeh..do not want.

Oh I fund a cute Hideki pic in Kobayashi Azusa's blog...from 7th June!
Cutey!!! although he's an old man you can't really see it I think..however with dark hair he looks kind of...well obviously superficial but I think he looks a lot better like THIS. (the facial expression looks kinda strange though..XD And it feels like he lost a lot of weight again..but that might only be that weird expression and angle..who knows)

Actually in the past I would have posted the photo right away...but I have become careful....just because I think...well ...I don't know..I don't want to do stuff anymore which he could consider wrong...I don't want to make him mad anymore..So I won't "steal" it and post it into my blog.

Um um..I am tired. Nothing new yeah..
you know today or rather yesterday..I woke up at 2pm and was fucking surprised..how could that happen? I have no idea..it just happened...o_o

At any rate I think I need to write more entries about myself although only a few people read them...
Yeah somehow...I noticed I have those weird evening/night depressions...when I wake up it's not like I feel depressed at all but in the evening or rather late night..I start to get frustrated about certain stuff.
It's like a moodswing...you feel like all in love with something all day long..till the evening..then you suddenly change yourself and start to hate it...it's like having a uncontrollable grudge on someone....

But there are several things in daily life which change....eg..the first coffee in the morning is the most delicious one...my last one in the evening or night is rather..hmm boring and simply not so delicious. Weird things in life...

Oh I watched soccer this evening with my nieces. Luckily Germany won against Portugal..although in the end it was a quite cruel game which made you think it's only a question of time till Portugal will finally make a goal. They seemed motivated to make it in the end...while Germany had a hard time trying to defend their goal. Well I can only hope Germany will play better on Wednesday against the Netherlands.

Nothing more to say now. Well in fact I only talked about random good for nothing stuff, I guess? XD