Hideki and the coke.

Don't know what to think about it.
I feel numb..thanks dear champagne..no I seriously feel tired for non reason.
The only thing I am waiting for is...that's hes coming online again. I wonder if he will write a reply again..probably not but *sigh*
Actually it doesn't matter...but I have the feeling it's a moment of proper happiness if I get a mail by him.
It's like someone I like a lot, thought about me and put that much efforts to at least write a reply.
It's exciting even though it's a little bit surprising and shocking in the very beginning but then it turns into full happiness. Oh jesus..why am I so sleepy...all of a sudden..I should try to sleep as soon I finished the coffee...

what a rant

While others go outside to enjoy themself I am just sitting here and watch Animes recently.
Well honestly speaking...even if I have tons of chances to go outside to clubs etc..I don't want to.
The only people who would be able to successfully get me into such clubs would probably be my other people. But maybe it's no use...maybe clinging to them although I couldn't do anything with them in the last 2 years is bullshit..but idk my view on this world is too different..it's not only music...i know going to a club etc means more...like dancing..but I hate dancing..so  it's stupid..I would only drink dozen of alcohol...
well usually people go also clubbing to meet up with people...get to know new people..enjoy themself...but having a big party with tons of foreign people is kinda...not attractive for me v_V

I thought of changing myself..but I am not really  able to do so...I am not able to leave everythingg behind to become a normal boring person who enjoys her life with mainstream shit...I have the strong belief that there is MORE than just this life...I want to experience something exciting and not something which I hate and won't make me enjoy myself...
Oh Well..